What happens when you “lose it”?

“Throwing your toys out of the pram” happens to most of us a some point.

But if you are a high-profile figure, or have significant influence over the lives of others, for example a teacher or politician, then the consequences could be serious for you and for those you influence.

The higher up we are the more serious the consequences.

What do we do when we see someone else “losing it”? Do we privately snigger or publicly condemn? I know I’ve done both.

Allusions to “the pram” give us a clue as to the origin of some of these outbursts. It’s almost like a primeval rage, like a hungry baby.

Our own reaction to having behaved like this is often denial. Denial that it was really that bad, denial that it wasn’t justified, even a pretense that our anger was necessary. Our family may even collude with us and join in the denial.

And most of the time this gets us by.

But occasionally, the “losing it” gets so out of control that the consequences become irreversible, undeniable.

So what causes this? Where do these extreme feelings come from and what can be done?

We are all made differently and it is impossible to generalise, but sometimes a frustration from the past, a frustration that was pushed under, but not resolved, can be the cause.

Well intentioned requests by our elders and betters to: “snap out of it!” or “grow up!” may not have been quite as effective as hoped. The way we learn from what happens to us is key here.

Simply forgetting our history may doom us to repeat it! And often at the most inconvenient points.

On the other hand, a skillful exploration of the right parts of our development-building which may have been overlooked, can be very beneficial. These foundations, these early building blocks, can be strengthened.

It may seem trivial, or even best to ignore it, but on the other hand aren’t we much less likely to “lose it” and much more likely to avoid those consequences if we do something about it now?

Is denial always a bad thing?

What sets you going?

The prickly zone

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About drstevelewis

Good leadership is essential for any project to succeed. I specialise in the most difficult leadership challenges; those involving the way we relate to other people or the way they relate to us. With a background of many years in business and an earlier training in medicine I combine the two in a unique consultancy.
This entry was posted in Broken relationships in business, Bullying in leaders, Bullying in the work place, Conflict, Denial, Family life, How old are you?, Leadership problems, Losing it, Personal development, Prickly Zone, The power of emotions and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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